Saturday, October 27, 2012

The weight of the situation...

The cycling world is in a bit of turmoil these days... there is even suggestion from "the only U.S. pro to win the Tour De France" Greg LeMond that everyone give up racing for a year by not buying a USA Cycling License. He is hoping this will help clean up the sport by "starting from scratch"... causing the UCI and USA Cycling to go out of business.  Greg has accused them of being corrupt.  Pretty extreme, however some of the folks in Iowa are actually contemplating whether or not this is a viable option.  I could use a year off, so this would suit me just fine.

I was on the ropes, regarding my energy to race prior to this drama, so my cycling world is also in a bit of turmoil.  The weight of the situation was revealed as I reluctantly stepped on the scale.  I looked down and saw that it read 174.  Hmm, not so bad... then it sunk in, I haven't weighed that much in about 4 years... a good 14 pounds over my race weight... Ok, I have been lifting weights regularly while limiting my cardio to about 3 times per week.  Maybe this extra weight is muscle, as my pants seem to fit about the same.

Anyway, recently the first talks of the 2013 season have begun for the American Equity Racing team.  That is what inspired me to weigh myself.  Of note, a couple of the guys that apparently quit midway through the season have officially declared that they won't be joining us next year.  I kind of wish they would have announced their change of heart during the actual season, however, as I kept letting myself feel 'let down' when they wouldn't show up to races and/or respond to our communications. This was my issue, not theirs, however, so no ill feelings... life happens, and cycling is only one small part of the big picture.

That will mean a solid foundation of AE/Velosport Elite racers, and maybe room for a couple of new recruits. Basically, this is great news, especially the fact that there will indeed be an American Equity Racing team... which was in jeopardy due to a significant loss to our team. Interested in being considered for a sponsorship?  Now would be the time to inquire with the team leadership. I am not sure exactly who is returning, but my guess would be:  Jeff Bradley, Lou Waugaman, Paul Deninger, Chad Bishop, Matt Zimmer, Lucas Guyton, Joshua Wandrey.

Currently,  I have set an odd goal (well it is odd to me) to bench press 300 pounds  (My current 1 rep max is 246lbs).  My dad suggested that I would be able to do this, because he did it at one point in his lifting days.  I want to find out before age becomes too limiting of a factor. Plus, I kind of like the idea of looking like an athlete for awhile.  I have started to get comments.  People are confusing me with a fitness professional...  this is great (and someday hopefully true), though I know it means trouble when I start battling gravity out on the open road. I will be a complete turd, if I try to race at 174 pounds, at least up hills.

What to do?  Probably resort to what I always do... delusion.   Perhaps I can bulk up to a solid 180 pound powerhouse, then strip the 'fat' next spring, and race at 165?  Hmm.  Well that is what I need to tell myself, otherwise I won't have motivation to lift weights and be forced to start training for the 2013 cycling season... It is weigh too early for that... Actually not, but I am still pouting about how anti-climactic my 2012 racing season went, so let me live in denial for a few more weeks...

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

The Lance Effect - Is this the end, or a new start?

I seriously got into cycling in 2005.   I was definitely one of the people who were inspired by the attention that Lance Armstrong brought to the sport.  My reasons for competing were personal, but I have to credit 'The Lance Effect' for helping solidify my ambitions by providing a reinforcing culture.  Being apart of something that was beyond my own selfish aspirations helped justify all the long miles and intense training.  I felt like I had joined a new culture... a brand new world of positive choices and group harmony.

How ironic is it that I am seriously contemplating a long-term break from competitive cycling, as the world seems to be turning against one of my heros.  Just as with my beginnings, I am not thinking about quitting solely because of Lance's demise, but I am definitely not inspired by this hostile climate of hatred.  The cycling lifestyle no longer seems quite as rosy.  What I thought was a world of empathy and understanding, of competitive fellowship and healthy lifestyle choices seems more like one of jealousy and judgement.

I suppose what stings, is the hatred that my fellow racing acquaintances are spewing.   I really want to feel like I belong to something... but not sure I can fit in, when my perspective is in such stark contrast with the people I ride with.

Maybe my loyalty to Lance is partially my dad's fault.    He wore a Livestrong bracelet. He found hope and support within the Livestrong foundation.  I can't seem to shake that image.

I liked the idea of the U.S. winning the Tour De France 7 times in a row.  I liked the fact that George Hincapie won a stage in 2005 (turns out he was doping... oops).  America prides itself on success... it is one of our values... Lance (and Floyd Landis for that matter) represented the U.S.  When they won, we cheered and felt proud.  Maybe that is why there is now hatred... a defense mechanism,  what other response can we have? 

Well, how about feeling SAD?  I suppose a man, however, would sooner raise his fist, then shed a tear.  And yet, thinking about the stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, deppression,  acceptance), I can suggest that we have been in denial for so long, that anger has finally progressed.   Perhaps, then, I am just further along on my journey, as I am saddened by the state of affairs... hopefully acceptance is just around the corner.

But you simply can't take back all that has been given. So, feeling sad isn't really necessary, for me personally...  rather, I feel inspired by the past and motivated by the potential of my future... with or without cycling.

Most likely I will start training again this winter... but for now, allow me a period of mourning... a pity-party, as I feel sort of alone within the sport right now.  The American Equity team seemed to disband in July, so that adds a bit to my isolation... it was nice to be able to share the lifestyle with a group of guys that 'got it'...  I got used to deriving energy from the team's enthusiasm and reinforcement... which made it disappointing as we slowly started engaging in our individual pursuits.  Perhaps once I get a chance to re-affiliate I will find some inspiration.

If and when I start training again, I will resume posting... until then, enjoy the cycling lifestyle, and please don't discredit all of the great people who have helped make it what it is.