Upon arriving in Finchford's City Park I proceeded to locate and occupy the restroom structure. I was taken aback by the noxious fumes that were eminating from the men's side, as the facility didn't have plumbing, rather just a hole with a toilet on top. There has got to be a better way to handle human digestive evacuations in public settings.
- 81% of the 72,000 licensed racers in the US are college graduates.
I had some free time while I was directing my stream, and noticed what looked like a banana floating amidst the fecal matter, seems like a waste. I guess it just wasn't meant to be for that poor yellow bastard.
- 89% of licensed riders are male, while 11% are female.
So, about an hour later, I decided to make one last visit to the outhouse. This time, it was proposed that I go ahead and use the women's side, especially considering the above statistic.
Hmm, that is an interesting scenario... I really was hoping to preserve my image of the female species as creatures incapable of producing some of the vile droppings that were present on the male's side of the stroom.
- 35% of Licensed Bike Racers are Married.
Curiosity got the best of me, along with the desire to get to the starting line quickly, so I entered the sacred world that is the female restroom. Much to my relief, their side was devoid of the pungent odors and solid matter that we had on the guys side. Hmm... are females somehow reluctant to drop a deuce in public pooh holes?
-The Median Houselhold income for Licensed Racers is $75,000.
That is one gender difference that I am glad exists. I have only been witness to two female gas expulsions in my lifetime, and they were very traumatizing.
- Cycling is the number 1 fitness activity for doctors/lawyers over 40
Ok, the race began, and turn two was a sharp right that you go into at about 30+mph. Chris Reed and Brendan Keely took it wide and went into the ditch on the first lap (sucks to be them, they DNF'd). Uh, fast forward to the next lap, I busted my first attack on the same curve and ended up even further into the ditch. My rear tire was bouncing all over the place and just tapping the brake was locking it up.
- 45-49 year old licensed racers average an income of ($95,940)
Ok, I chalked that up to maybe putting to much air in my tires (200psi). I hadn't ran into this situation in the first three races I used them, because there wasn't any need to use the brakes, as there was in this turn. I hopped back on as the group passed, and busted the nut sack that I carry with me to feed squirrels along the race route to catch back on. Just as I was back on, I ran over the road and into the ditch of turn 3. What the 'crap' is going on? I have been racing for 4 years, I really was finding it hard to believe that I just don't have the bike handling skills necessary to make a basic 90 degree turn at speed.
- 27% of Licensed Racers have Post-Graduate degrees
Ah hah, the answer became clear a I got a flat...so it wasn't so much the over-inflated rear tire, as it was the front tire that was losing pressure each lap. In fact, by lap 6, I was riding on the rim and had to ride into the parking lot, to get my spare tire, just to finish and avoid the dreaded DNF. Ok, so an over-inflated rear tire and extremely soft front tire would explain why I was having so much trouble on those two corners each lap.
- The median age of Licensed racers is 34
Overall, I have been dissappointed with my new front tubular tire, so I opted to try and flush the entire front wheel in the toilet, in an effort to further this 'crap' themed blog...
While I am flushing things down the toilet, I will add the Shimano 105, 11x25 ten-speed cassete that I was too lazy to swap out. It was missing all the middle gears that would have allowed me dial in the right gear, as I basically rode 7 solo laps in brutal winds.
Though I was bummed out during my 'drive of shame' home from this event, I am not going to throw the rest of my season down the toilet. I can address these equipment related issues, and come back ready to rock and roll at the next Iowa Cup showdown.
Sorry this post was odd, but I had some crap that I needed to get out of my system. I train hard, and it is disappointing not to have gotten a chance to race with the rest of the field.
4 comments:
Definitely an interesting theme for your post.
Aside from the two missed turns that you experienced, I think that you rode pretty well. Way to stick with it to the end.
Yo, college graduate, twice over!
Its a men's sport... If you want chicks, do tris.
So, that means 65% are not married, YO!
Yeah right, not here, try a bit little more then half of that.
Well, a computer tech here, and still under 40... so don't know on that one...
Racing age is still well under 35...
200 PSI!?!?!?!?!? How did the tire stay on the rim?!?!?!?! Stick with 120 PSI and you'll get by just fine.
Was this a new course? Were others having problems with the turn? Did you get enough sleep the night before? Racing on 4 hours of sleep is not a good idea, not that I have ever done that before :).
Well, there is that twice over college graduate, got my MSBIT about five years back!
Stay away from the Blue Light Special tires.
Don't flush the wheels, just the tire, cut the tire up into small bits to make it fit.
Now, I am a bit near-sighted, and my corrected vision is not 100%, but that does not look like a rear derailleur to me? That looks like a cassette.
You need to hit yourself a few dozen times with a pillow, or a foam bat, that will make you feel better and will not damage anything...
Hope I helped.
Carl, I appreciate the encouragement, I am still very bummed, but using the dissapointment to motivate more focused training.
Doug, Nice to hear from you again. I have done some research on optimal tire pressures for tubulars based on rider weight, type of race, and front vs. rear and feel confident I won't be bouncing all over the roads anymore. Yeah, instead of busting myself with a foam bat, I just went on a 116 mile solo rage ride. I feel much better now.
Chad,
Don't sweat it man!! You had the balls to ride the rest of the race in that weather.
It happens to us all, remember to me and Moritz at State RR last year....
You'll come back for revenge at Memorial Day, watch out!
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