I'm pretty fired up after reading about Existential philosphies. I am invigorated to take responsibility for the fact that I am free to re-invent myself, and do not need to settle for a stale identity. I can live an authentic life that engages me in activities that I feel are worthwhile, rather than merely reflecting a lifestyle that I feel is expected. I am driven to connect with others, make committments, and become that which I am capable of becoming.
I am not going to blame others, be a victim, or wait for my environment to change. It is my responsibility to experience life to its fullest. No longer will I live life in a clumsy fashion. Pedalling along aimlessly, mile after mile, alone on the rolling hills of Illinois. Rather, my cycling lifestyle is shifting to a less competitive, more 'big picture' oriented perspective. Beating other people is 'nice', but 'winning' is the goal. Everyone who enters a race can 'win' depending on their attitude.
Ok, it has begun. I didn't enter the race, and had already arranged a weekend getaway that day to make sure I didn't succumb to my past bike-related obsessions. Mission accomplished, as the race registration is closed. So, no Kent Park for me this year... that is going to be 'different'.
I am a recovering cycling addict... I want to find more balance... My training was so often isolating, which made sense at certain times in my life, but those times have past. I am now strong enough to a lead a life in which I don't hide from my existential anxieties by burying myself in an obsessive training/racing calendar. Once I stopped pedalling and took a good look around, I had to ask myself "where am I"?...
Well, I have arrived at a new vantage point, that will allow me to race my bike in an more healthy manner. To that end, I am hoping to start my racing season a couple months later than in years past. I can see why everyone is so hell-bent on getting out on the open roads, but there are 8 solid months to ride a bike comfortably... Nov 15th-Mar15th are NOT those times. Actually, this has more to do with my occupational interests. I simply have more free time in the summer, so that is when I will most appreciate having an active cycling agenda as part of my lifestyle.
Balance is the goal this year... I don't want to miss out on LIVING because I have my head buried far down into an AeroTT position, watching the pavement... I want to look up and see where I am going, enjoy where I have been, and authentically appreciate where I AM.