Ego Defense Mechanisms

It was the father of psychology, Sir Sigmund Freud who originally coined the phrase 'Ego Defense Mechanisms'. Such concepts as projection, minimization, denial, sublimation, etc. are used to describe processes that have become a component of human behavior when an individual struggles to resolve the confilct between their perception of themselves and the apparent reality.

What?  Well, I guess this phenomenon just seemed relevant because my ego took a bit of a hit this weekend, and I have been utilizing ego-defense mechanisms to keep my motivations in check (the rest of this blog entry is text book ego-defense).  While I am still in good shape, my priorities have shifted away from bike racing(ego defense mechanism = rationalization) , yet I continue to race... basically setting myself perform below my potential.

So what?  Not having the time to train during the week lately (ego defense mechanism = distortion), what better way to keep in shape by entering races despite having concerns about readiness.

HARVEST HAMMER DUATHLON
So, I entered the Harvest Hammer Duathlon on Saturday.  I was very impressed with my 5k time of just over 19 minutes.  I had a great lead over most of the duathletes.  Yes, I have been running more, out of a desperate attempt to continue to execute training workouts that can be done in less time.  I felt way better than last year(ego defense mechanism = distortion).  However, duathlons aren't won with great runs, especially this one, because it only has one running segement, so it favors the strong cyclist. I took advantage of this last year to win the event(ego defense mechanism = compensation)  This year, however, my time was a full 3 minutes slower than last.  I have let my cycling power/strength slip, while my running specific cardio-vascular strength is very prominant(ego defense mechanism = delusional projection). 

Bryce Mead, a very accomplished racer was able to pass me about 11 miles into the 21 mile bike segment.  I couldn't catch up.  In fact, I suffered from the same exact cramp of my left calve muscle that I did last year.  This knocked about 30 seconds off of my time, as I soft-pedalled(ego defense mechanism = dissociation).  .  I felt disappointed with my result, since it was so much slower than last year, but inspired by how good the run felt(ego defense mechanism = distortion).

BOBBERS CX
On Sunday, I decided to enter a cyclocross race.  I am not fully comitted to racing cross this year, however, I suspect that I may get more interested in competing as my schedule gradually opens up a bit(ego defense mechanism = denial).   To that end, I didn't want to fall too far behind, so I decided to drive up to Corallville Lake to enter the Masters event.

The day was a bit cold, dreary and wet... but seemed quite fitting for a cyclocross race.  The whole race seemed to go in slow motion.  Slogging through the grass, mud and sand, racers were gradually slipping off  behind me or gaining ground on me up the road.  No attacking, just pedal at your limit and see where you end up.

I came in 5th, just shy of the money.  Really didn't feel that great about how the race went for me, but glad I participated, because I feel a little more prepared for future competitions(ego defense mechanism = delusion).   I guess it is all relative, as the guys who finished ahead of me are well respected and accomplished cyclists, so I really can't feel that bad about finishing behind them (ego defense mechanism = rationalization).