COOKIE PUSHERS



Cookies & Cocaine... same thing.

COOKIE PUSHERSI am quite certain I gained a couple pounds over the last couple of weeks.  There was food laying around everywhere... most of it delicious, but complete crap, with respect to healthy calories.  This got me thinking... why do the holidays have to be like this?  Everyone seems to complain about gaining weight over the holidays, yet no one seems to be doing anything about it.

Well, I do know that I am not the one sweating away over a hot stove making holiday goodies... I certainly didn't go to any parties armed with loads of store bought desserts either... so what is the deal?  Hence, my Cookie Conspiracy Theory... It seems to me that some people just love to cook, but then don't have to worry about over-eating it because they don't abuse the crap that they make... sort of like drug pushers... they get a rush out of seeing their friend's/family member's eyes light up as they dig into one of their confections, yet have no plans of actually eating any of the 'white death' (aka sugar/simple carbs) that they are enabling others to binge on. 

To quote one of these cookie pushers, "I make it, but then don't eat it, rather get it out of  my house as fast as possible".  I am quite sure she didn't realize how frustrating this statement was to someone like me who has a low-level eating disorder. My mom is guilty of this.   She made a large pan of brownies, which I ate about 1/3 of (oops).  No one else seemed that interested in them, so she had most of the pan left as I was leaving... Understandably, she tried to send me home with the left-overs, not wanting to succumb to the temptations of having this dessert left at her home.  Yet, why can't it just be thrown out?  It is basically garbage at that point.  It served its purpose, now set it free.

Are you one of these cookie pushers?  Stop!  You are part of the problem.  Find another way to get your fix.   The holidays don't have to be about gluttonous consumption of loads of crap.  Alas, I am very hungry, and I will eat anything you put out in front of me... I am asking for your help... just because you don't have an eating disorder doesn't give you the right to harass others with your dope... you can stop this insanity... have some compassion... the holidays don't have to be so unhealthy.

THE THREE C'S

Tom Boonen was busted for Cocaine awhile back.
Maybe he can relate to my tribulations...
Maybe we should add Cocaine as the 4th 'C'.

So, the "Three C's" are part of my New Year's Resolution... Cookies, Candy, and Cake.  I am going to resolve not to eat these three things.  I tried limiting sugar once, and almost had to check myself into a psych ward for suicidal inclinations... not going to try that again... but maybe if I just focus on these three items, I will achieve a nice balance to my daily regimen of caloric intake.   Is a brownie a part of the 'three c's'?  Not sure, so to be on the safe side, I will resolve to eat any brownie offered to me.  What a about a donut?  Ok, that is cake... dang. 

Final word to you cookie pushers... enough is enough... you are not innocent.... as enablers you are just as guilty of facilitating winter weight gain as those who can't stop eating the crap you make.   Stop making it, find another way to feel good about yourself... if possible, maybe find a hobby that  doesn't contribute to shortened life expectancy, tooth decay, disease, low self-esteem, emotional eating,  etc.  I am tired of crying myself to sleep over a plate of left-over cheese cake that no one else had the courage to eat a second serving of during the party.  If you insist on making it, then you should at the very least commit to eating it a good-sized portion of it so that there isn't so much left for me...