Hoping to Contract the Disease... MPV

MALE PATTERN VAGINITIS (MPV).... Yes, if you are a male competitive cyclists you have probably heard of this ailment and most likely have contracted it to some degree. This is a condition that infects male riders preventing them from racing and/or training as often as they would like. Essentially, a female disease carrier attaches to the male host, and then proceeds to replace this cyclist's passion for racing with an unwitting aspiration to spend quality time listening, understanding, communicating and cuddling.

Being free of this disease, (as I am) however, isn't as great as one might imagine. Without MPV to distract me from my racing/training, I find that I really don't have much of a life outside of these ambitions. That isn't such a bad thing, until you begin to race obsessive/compulsively, seeking to fill the void left from being disease free. I believe that was the case over the weekend, as I elected to race both a 40k time trial and a Cat 1/2 crit on the same day.

IOWA CITY TT #4-
Hoping to see how my fitness was lining up for the Iowa State Time Trial Championships August 16th, I entered this 40k event in Nichols, Ia. that actually occurs on the same course. Warming up, I noted that this would be the most dramatic wind shift I had encountered in a TT race. Going out, their was a head wind of about 14mph. I soft pedalled at around 19mph. Then I turned around and was exerting the same effort but going well over 25 mph due to the tailwind.

So, 20k into the wind then 20k with a tailwind. I did some math to calculate what I would need to do to set a PR (always worth taking a shot at beating the clock), and was still optimistic as I approached the turnaround. My time was way off, but I figured I could average about 6mph faster going back.

As I turned around, I was elated to find that I was able to hold a speed well over what I needed to set a Personal course record. Then I started to slow down. I couldn't figure out what was going on, but reluctantly admitted to myself that I must have went out too hard, and simply didn't have the power to build on last year's successful Time Trialing debut.

I still kept battling, but was losing ground mile after mile. With about 3 miles left, I looked up to see a flag that indicated I was indeed battling a headwind. This was a great realization, because it meant my slow pace wasn't compelely due to my fitness. Battling a head wind over 35 kilometers is exhausting, so having a slower time would be understandable.

I started laughing when I saw that my time was going to be over 58minutes (much slower than I do when I train on this course). I let up a bit thinking about my race later that day in Grinnell, and realizing that my time was doomed because of this freakish wind shift. The wind shifted at around 9:30am, so the earlier you started the less of a disadvantage this gave you. I was one of the later starters, unfortunately.

Based on the results, however, Paul Deninger is in great form to potentially win this year's TT championships. He won the event with a time just over 56 minutes (still much slower than his usual pace). Greg Duethman and a guy named Elmer (from Dubuque Free Flight), also had great rides that were much faster than mine. Jeff Barnes, who won last year, is also a favorite to repeat for Cat 1/2 gold. I am still hoping, however to have a great ride this Sunday, maybe setting a PR, but at least finishing high overall, and in the Gold of the Cat 3 category.

GRINNELL TWILIGHT CRIT
I went home from the TT and tried to rest and recover for a Cat 1/2 crit that Bikes2You/World of Bikes team was hosting. It was technically a Cat 1/2/3 race, but no one was including the Cat 3 part within their dialogue, so I am going to suggest that Cat 3's are really just included to create a larger field for the main event. I would rather race a cat 1/2/3 event then a cat 3/4, so I am not complaining.

The course was right through the downtown area and around a park. Six flat and mostly smooth/wide corners. The Bikes2You team had about 8 guys, All Nine Yards had 3 or 4, and the rest of us were racing solo (about 19 total). With 8 guys in the field, Bikes2You had a lot of cards to play.

The race started out neutral for about 50 feet, and then Sean Walker turned up the tempo. I was having trouble holding his wheel, though I was opting to stay near the front of the race until I got a feel for the corners.

People were going around me, so I was always struggling to fill in holes that were created because I didn't have the snap in my legs to hold the wheels. About 2 or three laps in I thought my race was done. Thankfully, the pace let up just enough to allow for me to continue competing.

After the next gap formed up ahead, I realized I wasn't able to respond, and succumbed to just trying to hang with the pack. This wasn't happening either. Eventually, I was in a chase group with Will Greenwood, Sean Walker, Tim Campbell (all of the hosting team), and then Jeff Bradly, Chris Eastburn and some other guy in red. Well the guy in red wasn't intrested in chasing, and the Bikes2You guys weren't going to chase down their own teamates, so Jeff, Chris and I took up the chase, sort of, by taking turns at the front.

Jeff pulled off, perhaps realizing the effort was futile. Well, that was a serious blow to my morale. Tim must have smelled blood, and attacked the remaining solo riders, sensing that we were weak. Will bridged up, leaving Sean back in the chase group. Now basically in the third chase group, I found that I still couldn't hold the wheels.

I edged off and reluctantly abandodned. Amazingly, it was only about 20 minutes into a 65 minute race... sort of embarrasing, but mostly just frustrating, because this would have been a great race to be competitive in. Good course, well organized, great field, good primes, descent payout etc. As I was loading up my bike, I noticed that Sean had rejoined Will and Tim, however the other two solo riders were gapped off as well.

I skipped town, hoping to maybe get back in Muscatine with enough time to head downtown to try and contract Male Vaginitis. You see, I had an opportunity to go to a reception Friday night but decided I should rest for the full day of racing Saturday. I also had an invite to go to a birthday party at a bar Saturday night, but rather elected to race around Grinnell.

With this approach I will reluctantly be free of Male Pattern Vaginitis for the rest of my life. This isn't actually good for my race results, as there is such thing as overdoing it. I really did throw myself under the bus by competing against such a strong field at the Twilight Crit in addition to that morning TT. Logic would follow that I would have done one or the other, and perhaps had some sort of alternative activity for the remainder of the day.

(Note: Upon researching Vaginitis, I have been informed that it actually is a disease that females with bacteria issues can contract. Hmm, it seemed like a made up word when I was introduced to it a couple of weeks ago as it was used to explain why a certain member of a team opted not to show up for the state RR. I might suggest that we come up with a different term to use to describe male rider's who are suffering from interpersonal, opposite gender-related racing conflicts).

For now, I will keep training. Even though my results are less than desirable, bike racing is keeping me relatively sane and happy.