I asked for it, I got it...not quite

In an earlier post, I claimed to be hoping to contract 'Male Pattern Vaginitis(MPV)'...Well, as fate would have it, I did indeed contract a disease-type ailment, and it even is specific to my genital area...

Not to go into great detail, but let's just say that the first question the doctor asked when I told him about my condition and why I was there to see him was "Were you peeing in the woods?". My answer was 'yes'....You guessed it, poison Ivy.

Trying to find a silver lining to this predicament, I remembered a conversation I had with some fellow riders at the Dirty Road Races earlier in the spring. They were mentioning how doctors prescribed steroids for severe poison ivy, and the potential performance enhancing effects.

So I headed to the clinic to get juiced up. I was a little taken back when the doctor asked if I wanted him to look at it. I imagined us high-fiving with the somewhat shocking sight... 'man, that looks really funky!, Awesome!', then a high five as he injected steroids into my veins. Well, not quite. The pharmacist did mention as she handed me the prescription, "this will make you ride like the energizer bunny".

I don't have any racing this week, so I won't get to take advantage of my temporary hormone induced strength advantage. I do, however, have plans to roll around in a poison ivy patch right before the 2010 Memorial day weekend races. (In case anyone else wants to try this out, below are some of the plants you should try to find).

Hmm, I guess I can now relate to what female vaginits actually feels like. Remind me never to tempt fate like this again, the irony is just too itchy.